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National Avocado Day

National Avocado Day

Okay I admit this could be one of my new favorite holidays!

Sylum Snippet by Bj Jones


March cut his avocado in perfect vertical slices, then carefully placed each slice on the golden brown toast, he dashed some salt on it, then sat at the kitchen table, savoring his breakfast.

“You are such an ass.” Holly stared at her father with a look of resigned disdain.  “How am I related to you?”

“Well when a man loves a woman … ”  Holland bit down on his yummy Avocado toast.  “A snarky daughter is born.”

“Obviously she got her looks, smarts, and qualities of a human being, from her mother.”  Healey’s voice came from behind the newspaper.  He even was drinking his coffee behind it, having not put it down since Holland sat down at the breakfast table.

Holland gave his daughter a look.  “You say I’m being rude.”  He points to his Mate who his still behind the newspaper.

“Ugh.”  She rolled her eyes heavenward and slumped in her chair, arms crossed as she stared at her father.  “He’s actually being considerate and not leaving me alone with your disgusting display over the avocado, despite despising the green things more than I do at this moment.”

“Avocados are the foundation of society.  It is the fabric of our well being.  They are delicious on toast and should be savored.”  He shoved the last bit in his mouth, made inappropriate noises as he chewed, swallowed it down, then licked his fingers.

“Disgusting.” Holly’s nose scrunched up as she got up from the table slowly, she was in her third trimester and was having more difficult stalking away in disgust when her dad was being an obnoxious ass.  “You know it turns my stomach, and Healey hates avocados due to the youth program that brought him to California.”

Holland in a rare moment of complete sincere assholeness.  “They were a gift from a client, who couldn’t pay all of our fee.  So I couldn’t say no, and I know you can’t eat them, and Healy won’t eat them, so I did.”

Healey folded the newspaper down and stared at his Mate.  “That is such a Holland March statement, I’m not sure I want to break your arm or kiss you.”

“I would prefer the kissing part.”

Healey smirked, pushed the glasses up his nose and shakes the paper back in front of him.  “Not until you brush, floss, and gargle with Listerine.”

“Hmm on that note, I’m going to have another…”

“I hate you.”  Holly waddled out of the kitchen.  “We leave for my ultrasound in an hour, you better have brushed, flossed and gargled by then!”

“I hope my grandkid doesn’t inherit your hatred for the amazing green foods.”  He stated as he fixed another avocado.

“Well don’t send it to the fields for being an Irish teenage prick.”  Healey glanced at his Mate, shaking his head.  “By the way, that was kind of you take the payment in avocados.”

“Jose was a good kid, deserved to go to college and not pick avocados.”  March gave him a small smile.  “Besides it’s always good to know a future lawyer who like us.”

“Very true.”  Healey laughed lightly.  “I’m going to go hang out with Holly, I just can’t watch you orgasm over your avocado toast.”

“That’s fine you can leave us alone.”  He smiles down at the avocado.  “It’s just you and me baby…”

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