Pirate Interview


Let it first be said – herding Pirates together is worse than herding cats! It took skilled manipulation and lots of Rum, but he had finally got them into Nico’s ballroom at Sylum Manor.

And he had thought interviewing Ernesto had been bad, at least His Holiness helped. When the he had asked Nico – the Clan Leader wandered off snickering, his kids weren’t much help either.

Thomas at least promised Brass would be there.

Thomas is too good for this world.

Turner got Sparrow into the room, literally buy making him follow a pint of rum.

Not sure what Nico promised Warrick, but he slid into the room with Kenway behind him.

Not long after Sam Axe swanned in with a Mojito in hand, he settled next to Kenway, wearing his loud Hawaiian shirt. Westen headed out of the kitchen with a yogurt not soon after.

The doors slammed open, indicating Barbossa had arrived. Joshamee Gibbs was waiting by the side door, to make sure Sparrow hadn’t run off … with the rum.

Pintel and Ragetti only shrugged and found a seat near the back.

Finally they were all in one room together.

This could likely be the worst mistake of his life.

“Gentleman…” The interviewer began.

There were a few snorts to that comment.

“Captain.” Sparrow commented, drinking a sip of rum from a silver tankard. “Well at least some of us.” He gave a side eye to Barbossa.

“How the hell did you get that?!” Warrick glared at the flamboyant Pirate, reaching over to grab the cup. “That was well stashed in our rooms! There is no way you got past Nico.”

“Luv.” He pulled the tankard from his grasp. “I’m Captain Jack Sparrow.”

Warrick looked passed him at Will, who only shrugged. With a grumble he texted his Mate, who he knew was in his office entertaining Westen and likely Brent. He ignored the chatter around him, only to frown more when Nico replied with a simple ‘no I haven’t seen Sparrow’.

His eyes narrowed, he would get his revenge later.

“Aren’t we missing some?” Barbossa looked around the room.

“Randolf is crab fishing.” Will answered. “And he considers himself half pirate, and besides he’s more loyal to Noromor than the rest of us.”

“Speaking of the crazed Norwegian … where’s Davy?” He smirked over a Sparrow.

“Not a pirate.” Jack rolled his eyes. “More squid like, even without the …” He waved his fingers from under his chin. “Last I heard Tia was even making him wear a suit.”

Will snickered. Even after all these years, he was still adjusting to Davy Jones in Sanctuary – it had taken less time to adjust to Barbossa. Though he had to admit there were times he preferred Davy over the former Pirate.

Hell there were times he wanted to kick them all out including Elizabeth and just leave him and his Mate alone.

“I take it the Irishman isn’t joining us?” Hector added.

“Which Irishman are you refereeing to?” Axe glanced over at the Captain. He never liked Barbossa, but would tolerate him at the moment. Nick didn’t like bloodstains on his hardwood floors. Besides Mikey made him leave his knives behind.

“The rat like one or the squirrely one.” Sparrow added to the confusion.

“The rat like one.”

“He’s on the island, making sure Black Beard doesn’t join in on the fun.” Warrick really wanted this conversation to stop.

“Which leads to why isn’t the squirrely one and that goody tooshoes here, along with their dear old papa.” Hector leaned back in his chair. “Talk about blood thirsty pirates.”

“That is my Mate you’re talking about.” Warrick snarled at Hector. “And he is better than any of you.”
Kenway who had ignored most of the ramblings, looked over at Hector with narrowed eyes. “That’s my brother, and I really don’t give a shit about Brent so I would watch your next words carefully.”

Hector wisely shut up.

“See that’s why ye are my favorite.” Sparrow nodded at Kenway.

“Okay, now that introductions have been done ….” The interview wondered how the hell he had gotten into this. “For this edition of the Vampire Gazette we’re focusing on Pirates, hence this get together.”

“I heard about Ernesto’s interview.” Warrick gave him a cold stare.

“His Holiness is sneaky I like that in a priest.” Sparrow nodded agreeing with his own statement.

“When did you meet the Pope?” Joshamee spoke up for the first time from where he sat next to Brass.

“Long story – not the first time.” He waved a hand dismissing the idea.

“We won’t talk about the time you dressed as a Priest…” Will sighed.

“Did that actually work?” Hector leaned over and stared at his once rival. “How did anyone believe you were a Holy Man?”

Sparrow crossed himself with his left hand, then put palms together and looked heavenward.

Kenway snorted. “Can we get on with this atrocity of gossip hiding under the guise of journalism.”

No one commented on the more haughty English accent.

“Hello Aubrey.” Sparrow wiggled his fingers at him.

Kenway glared at him.

The journalist coughed softly and held up his notes, reading over them quickly. “Let’s start off with a random question, this is to everyone. Tell us about the one that got away.”

Pintel rolled his eyes, as Ragetti snorted.

“Technically that would’ve been Sparrow.”

“But then he came back.”

“And ran away gain.”

Sparrow leaned back in his chair and grinned at the two pirates. “The monkey is the one that got away.”

“Where did he go?” Pintel asked, always wanting to know what happened to Barbossa’s pet.

Sparrow’s grin was downright evil. “The Locker. It was on the Pearl … during that time.” He waved his hand around not wanting to talk about.

“Nick.” Warrick said with all seriously. “He was the one that got away, because of my own stupidity and his stubbornness.”

“But you got him back.” Will glanced over at him.

“Thanks to me.” Kenway slapped the back of Warrick’s shoulder, who cringed in pain.

“Yeah I got him back. Because Fate is a bitch, but loves Nico like you wouldn’t believe.” The Captain smiled softly. “Didn’t make that mistake again.”

“Do you have a favorite place to take Nick on Vacation?” He asked with a soft smile.

“On the Red Stallion, we have a small crew that can sail it. Though he doesn’t let me do piratey stuff.”

“Well except pillaging said General.” Brass smirked at his Captain.

“Pirate.” Warrick winked at his Quartermaster.

The room snickered softly.

“So I take it you still have the Red Stallion.” The journalist glanced around the room. “All the ships have been refurbished?”

“Aubrey’s ….” Will paused shaking his head. “His ship yard specializes in it. The Red Stallion, Black Pearl, and the Surprise have been restored fully. The Dutchman is well not really an Earth bound ship.”

“What about the Jackdaw?” Joshamee asked glancing over at Kenway and Sam.

“Sam lost it.” Kenway glared at his Quartermaster.

“I put it in a safe place.” He defended himself eyes shifting slightly.

“So safe no one could find it.” Warrick chuckled.

“Well it was found, and I would prefer not to talk about that time, as it makes me want to shoot DVD players.” Sam sipped his mojito not wanting to think about the nightmare he came home to … fucking Larry.

Sensing the need for a subject change, the interview smiled at Sam. “So Mojitos.”

He raised his glass with a salute.

“Best place for one?”

“Carlos, hands down.” He sipped his before setting it down on the table.

“Worst one you had?”

Sam frowned as he looked outwards as if lost in thought. “We don’t discuss the mojito incident of 2009.”

“Okay, I have to ask, what is it like having him as a childe?” The journalist looked over at Kenway.

“It’s an adventure.” He glanced over at Sam.

“You love me.”

Kenway gave him a small smile. “Sam’s loyal, has been for two lives and ships. Say what you want, in a fight I want him by my side.”

“Especially with his knives, Mr. Stabby.” Sparrow gave him a pointed look.

Sam Axe just grinned wickedly.

“Speaking of knives…” He turned toward Turner. “You’re the odd one out, more Blacksmith than Pirate.”

“Don’t let the adorable puppy fool ya.” Sparrow smirked at his Mate. “Me Mate has bite.”

Pintel and Ragetti snorted. “We all remember what he did to Elizabeth ….”

“If it wasn’t for Mr. Anthony…” Gibbs added with a shrug.

Will glared at the three of them.

“You’re swords are some of the finest around. Who have you gifted them to?” The Journalist smiled at the pirate’s antics, though he was curious about what they were referring to.

“Many of my friends have been gifted swords.” He shrugged, it wasn’t that big of a deal. “I’ve also repaired many at Sanctuary.”

“Warrick ever try to steal any?”

“HEY!” Warrick looked insulted.

Will laughed. “He doesn’t need to. I’ve sharpened a few of his, and helped him make the Phoenix Meridius for Nico.”

“You’ve made a few swords for shows and movies, right?” He continued with the line of questions.

“Well along with Sephas and Quintus – not Maximus’ Mate the Roman in Scotland … yeah never mind. But yeah I’ve made a few.” He frowned not quite sure where this was going.

“Ever wanted to make a lightsaber?” He rolled his eyes slightly.

Will chuckled. “Who wouldn’t, but they’re not real…”

Warrick coughed slightly.

Turner glanced over at him, with an eyebrow raised.

Warrick shrugged. “Undead pirates, wizards, Davy Jones locker – you really think Jedi’s are fictional?”

His eyes went wide. “After this thing, you and me are having a chat.” He gave him a pointed glare.

“Talk to Nico.”

“Oh I will.”

The interviewer looked between the two of them. “So giving Sparrow one would be a bad idea?”

“Fuck yeah.”


“Hell No.”

“Are you kidding me?”

Sparrow just looked at the group, not sure if he was offended or not.

“Have you ever met a blacksmith better than your Mate?” He changed the subject quickly.

“No. There is no one better than me Mate.” Sparrow answered with full sincerity. “He’s got talented hands…” He winked at Will, who leaned over and kissed him quickly.

“So we have a lot of Mates in the room, or Pirates who met their Mates while Pirating.” He shook his head snickering softly.

“Does Thomas mind the sailing?” He glanced over at Brass who had been quiet most of the time.

“He has no problems with me sailing, he understands the call of the sea. Now getting him to go sailing with me, usually takes Nico and plots of kidnapping.” Brass winked at the doorway he knew his Mate was listening in.

The journalist smiled at the loving tone in the harden pirate … cop. “So Pintel where you shocked that Ragetti was your Mate.”
“No.” He looked over at the lanky pirate. “He got me from the beginning as I got him.”

“Favorite date place?” He pushed as the two rarely talked about themselves.

“Picnic by the sea.” He blushed slightly.

“He makes the best cucumber sandwiches.” Ragetti smiled. “Oh and his rum balls.”

“Oh don’t bring those up!” Gibbs licked his lips. “If we’re lucky we get the extra.”

“Fan of rum chocolates?” The interview asked.

“Probably too much.” He patted his belly. “But we weren’t talking about me! Back to the adorable Mates.”

Ragetti blushed, putting his head on Pintel’s shoulder.

“They are adorable.” Will shook his head.

Hector rolled his eyes. “Saps the lot of you!”

“Well we all know your love of hats.” The journalist pointedly looked at Barbossa.

“Yes a gentleman needs a fine hat.” He nodded with an air of grace and dignity. “The larger the plume the better.”

“Did you get Brent one?” He asked, glancing at Will.

“Why I did!” Hector nodded. “My Mate wears finery well. I have lived dead for long time, and enjoy the comforts of this era. Fine clothes, foods and wines. I make sure my Mate is well taken care of … including fancy hats. Sometimes that’s all he wears.”

“ENOUGH!” Will glared at him not wanting to know more and didn’t want to think about the few times he saw things he shouldn’t have.

Hector laughed.

“So what’s it like having Jack and Will as in-laws?”

Barbossa rolled his eyes.

Sparrow sounded like he was choking.

Will groaned and headdesked.

“Okay moving on.” He glanced back at Ragetti and Pintel. “So do you like to still take sea voyages? Vacations?”

“Anytime the Pearl goes out so do we.” Pintel nods. “We are still men of the sea.”

“Does it help to have a modern glass eye?” He glanced at Ragetti.

“Oh yes. Most can’t tell anymore. And at least this one isn’t a piece of eight!” His eyes narrow at Hector, who shrugged.

“So any other hobbies?” He asked the two of them.

Ragetti shrugged. “I like to draw.”

“Needlepoint.” Pintel glared at him, daring the interviewer to mock him. “And pose for his drawings.”

“And now we’re stuck with that image!” Brass shakes his head, though part of him couldn’t help the smile.

“And Sam where do you like to take your Mate on vacation?” He moved the conversation around the room.

“On the Lucky Jack.” He shrugged smiling brightly. “I’ll make him a sailor yet.”

“Even with his yogurt obsession?” Even he had heard about Westen and the yogurt.

“Don’t get me started!” Sam shook his head. “Though I don’t mind him licking …”

“Sam, stop.” Kenway put his hand on his friends shoulder. “There are things we don’t need to know about.”

“Speaking of not knowing … ” He hesitated as he the room got quiet. He swallowed, remembering he was in a room filled with Pirates. “So any clues on where you were between 1735 and 2009?”

He shrugged. “Ask the wizards. I was there then here – that’s it.”

“So you are Aubrey.”

“On occasion.”

“Yet Kenway.”

“On occasion.”

Sparrow leaned forward, giving him a look. “Told ya, it’s him but not him.”

He decided to leave that alone, or maybe bring it up to the wizards if he ever got a chance to ask them a few questions!

“So Gibbs!” He quickly moved on not wanting to get on Kenway’s bad side. “I heard through the grapevine that you are part of the Cajun Navy?”

“Yep!” He was quite proud of that actually. “Pintel and Ragetti help me with it to. We’ve lived through enough hurricanes to know the damage. We’re vampires and seamen so we got an advantage to help. Though the men who are human and help are awesome.”

“It’s good work.” Ragetti nodded smiling. “Many good men.”

“I have to ask.” It was one thing he wanted to know. “Any relation to Jethro Gibbs?”

“No idea.” Joshamee shrugged. “Gibbs isn’t an uncommon name. Never checked to see if any family made it this far. Though if he was, I would be very proud. He’s a good man.”

“So ever forgive Will for throwing the water on you?” He winked at Will.

“That was Sparrow!” Will argued back.

“Luv I have no idea what you’re talking about!” Sparrow looked offended.

“I would never do that to Gibbs, except for the few times he came back to the ship smelling like pigs.” Will leaned back and gave Joshamee a smile. “Though watching him smack the shit out of Linus will always be one of my favorite memories.”

“That is why he’s me First Mate.” Sparrow winked at his friend.

“Captain.” Gibbs nodded his head.

“I know this is likely a stupid question: Favorite Drink?” He glanced at the bottles of rum scattered around the room.

“I do like a good cup of tea.” Barbossa stated with certainty.

Kenway just rolled his eyes.

Warrick gave a mischievous grin. “My Mate.”

Sparrow laughed as he downed the rest of his rum. “Drink up me hearties yo ho!”

“So only Rum? Not whiskey, bourbon, or a nice chianti?”

“Heathen.” Sparrow stood and made his way over to the bar, and poured more rum.

He snickered and looked at Will. “So can you keep up with him?”

“Drinking?” Turner shook his head. “No. I’m not much of a drinker.”

“You have to understand.” Kenway spoke up. “Sparrow is only dangerous when he’s sober.”

“You don’t want to mess with a sober Sparrow.” Joshamee shook his head.

“No you don’t.” Barbossa agreed he had seen the sober pirate defend his Mate over the years. “But worse you don’t want to see a pissed off Turner.”

“Me mate has teeth.”

Pintel pointed at the two of them. “Only a few have ever tried to come between them.”

“Didn’t end well for the lass.” Ragetti added.

He looked between all of them, and took a deep breath. “So who can drink more Warrick or Sparrow?”

“Sparrow.” Everyone answered including Warrick.

“What do you miss most about pirating ….”

“The open sea.” Warrick had a soft smile on his face, remembering the sound of the waves against the hull, and wind in the canvas.

“The sunrise.” Will added lost in his own memories.

“The adventure.” Sparrow settled back next to his Mate, smiling softly at him.

“The freedom.” Kenway took a calm breath, remembering the feeling of no restraints.

“The code.” Gibbs nodded slightly.

“Underlings following orders.” Brass chuckled, followed by a fist pump from Gibbs.

“No societal constraints.” Pintel glanced at Ragetti who gave him a soft smile.

“Knowing a man’s word meant something.” Sam smirked. “Well unless of course he was a Pirate.”

“My monkey.”

Everybody in the room turned and stared at Barbossa, he only shrugged a smirk on his face.

“You can go to the locker and get him.” Will gave him a look. “Stay a while, visit the other crazies.”

“You’re lucky Brent is related to you.”

“No you are.” Turner gave him a smirk. “Or you would still be undead.”

The journalist shook his head, not wanting to get into old rivalries. “So last question … favorite pirate memory?”

“Kissing me Mate for the first time.” Sparrow pulled Will into his arms kissing him deeply. It didn’t take long for Will to climb into his lap, deepening the kiss.

Warrick ignored them. “The birds.”

“Oh God I almost forgot about them.” Brass chuckled behind his Captain. “Though not sure how since it still happens just not to that scale.”

Kenway glanced at Warrick, a questioning frown on his face.

“You know how Nico is with birds.”

“Oh yes he tamed Mr. Cotton’s Parrot.” Gibbs casually made his way across the room, and yanked Will out of Sparrow’s lap. It was obvious he had done it a dozen times before. “Never saw anything like it.”

“Oh no this is nothing like you’ve seen.” Brass held out his hands.

“Come on tell us!” Ragetti and Pintel both eager for a Pirate story.

Warrick down the rum that had been sitting next to him. “It was one of the first hurricanes we encountered after Nico and the kids joined the Red Stallion…

He remembered like it was yesterday.

They had settled into one of the encloves to protect the Stallion from the winds. They anchored down, and bunkered down. As for Hurricanes it wasn’t horrible but it was a long night, and there were a few times the Stallion listed dangerously.

By morning the waters were calm, and the sky was clear. He stepped out onto the deck, moving next to Brass who was staring at the mast. Warrick had been ready to yell at the crew for being lazy dogs, only to halt and stare.

The masts were filled with birds.

Every inch was covered with all types of birds.

‘How? What?’ Warrick waved his hands towards the spectacular.

‘I have no idea. They were there when we came out a half hour ago. Not a peep out of any of them. We tried to scare them off, but they just gave us a disgusting look at sat there.’

When Nico stepped out onto the deck, he halted and the cooed.

Literally cooed.

A few of the birds chirped and one flew down landing on his arm. It was beautiful red Macaw. He swore the two were having a conversation, and then in a sudden woosh they all flew off.

“Every hurricane after that, we always found birds.” Warrick finished the tale.

Brass chuckled. “Never saw anything like it.” He glanced at his Captain. “And Gil thought he watched Animal Planet.”

Warrick snorted.

“The thing he still does it now. When Katrina came through, we had at least a dozen random birds show up.” Brass shrugged, Thomas had taken it with his normal plume and herded them into Nico’s wing with the rest of the flock.

“That is so cool.” Ragetti smiled in delight, wanting to draw out the idea. Maybe he would send it to Nico as a gift.

Kenway shook his head. “He’s always had a thing for birds, even in Rome. I remember one of the big Eagles landed on his arm, without fear or thought. He was eight at the time, pissed off the Legion General at the time to no end as it hadn’t liked him very much.”

“Nothing as cool as birds, but the bar fights were fun … I remember.” Sam paused. “No wait that was Fi and last week.”

The room broke out in laughter.

“There was the time when we sailed by the Isle of the Diablos.” Will shook his head at that particular moment, only to find out that Sparrow was friends with their chief.

“That’s dangerous waters.” Barbossa commented eyeing the other pirate.

“After everything no one on the crewed cared.” Gibbs snorted remembering when the Chief appeared on the Pearl. No one in the crew blinked. No one. “He was upset no one ran screaming.”

“Undead Pirates, Davy Jones, the Kraken, Elizabeth ….” Sparrow shrugged. “What’s one tiny red devil?”

“Tiny?” Will gave him a look.

Everyone startled when the ballroom doors banged open. “Last time there were this many pirates in one room, the council was being called. Did you all bring your pieces of eight?”

Elizabeth Norrigton gave everyone a look. “Why wasn’t I invited I am the King of the Pirates.”

“Well look at the time.” Sparrow grabbed Will’s hand and pulled him towards the side door. Gibbs only a few steps behind them.

“Miss Swann.” Barbossa stood and gave her a bow.

“Mrs. Norrington.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“I’ll send my condolences to the good Commodore.” He followed Sparrow out the side door.

“Hey Poppy.” Pintel gave her a smile and a hug. “How’s good ol’ England.”

“Boring.” She huffed, watching as he dragged Ragetti out of the room. “So what everyone’s leaving?”

Warrick walked by slapping her on the ass. “Well I’m sure our good journalist could ask a few questions after all if there is anyone who was truly a pirate.”

She gave Warrick a glare, but then smiled before making her way into the room to sit in front of the interview, barely noticing Kenway and Sam, making their way out of the room via the kitchen.

“Pirate King?” He asked.

She smiled, crossed her legs and rested her arms on them, while leaning forward. “Now let me tell you a real story.”

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