{"id":9053,"date":"2017-09-30T21:14:37","date_gmt":"2017-10-01T04:14:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.sylumclan.com\/sylumblog\/?page_id=9053"},"modified":"2017-09-30T21:48:16","modified_gmt":"2017-10-01T04:48:16","slug":"regrets","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.sylumclan.com\/sylumblog\/the-generals-office\/bj-jones\/csi-miami\/regrets\/","title":{"rendered":"Regrets"},"content":{"rendered":"

Title<\/strong>: Regrets
\nAuthor<\/strong>: Bj Jones
\nRating<\/strong>: PG-13
\nSummary<\/strong>: Fixing one\u2019s regrets.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Horatio looked around the deserted beach, confusion etched on his face. He slipped off the sunglasses and looked down at his chest. He knew something wasn\u2019t right; the last thing he remembered was walking into the jewelry store.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know I think the rest of the team should avoid jewelry store\u2019s from here on out,\u201d A voice from Horatio\u2019s past.<\/p>\n

Horatio turned to look into the warm eyes of Timothy Speedle, \u201cSpeed?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI mean really, what are the odds?\u201d Speed smiled at Horatio. \u201cHello, H.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s going on?\u201d Horatio placed his hands on his hips.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat do you remember?\u201d Speed asked.<\/p>\n

Horatio looked at the young man, he looked exactly as he remembered. Hair untamed, a constant five o\u2019clock shadow, warm eyes. He was wearing the same blue shirt and black pants he had on when he died.<\/p>\n

\u201cFollowed a suspect to the jewelry store,\u201d Horatio eyebrow knitted in frustration. \u201cI told Eric to hold back. As I stepped up to the manager there was a movement in the corner, a flash, and that\u2019s it.\u201d Horatio looked out to the ocean, then back to Speed. \u201cI take it, I\u2019m dead.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSomething like that,\u201d Speed shrugged.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo they sent you to bring me across?\u201d Horatio asked. \u201cWhy not Ray?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRay is on guard duty, he can\u2019t leave his post.\u201d Speed motioned with his head and started walking down the beach.<\/p>\n

\u201cGuard duty?\u201d Horatio asked as he caught up with Speed.<\/p>\n

\u201cRay felt he needed to make amends for decisions in his life, so he is now a guardian angel.\u201d Speed informed him. \u201cHe\u2019s protecting a young woman in New York. She\u2019s on the streets, kicked out by her father.\u201d<\/p>\n

Horatio stopped and stared at Speed, \u201cAnd you?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been annoying the powers that be,\u201d Speed turned and laughed at Horatio\u2019s perplexed expression. \u201cThink hard Horatio; those whispers in the middle of the night, the sudden wind shifts revealing evidence, a crash warning of an intruder.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019ve been protecting us?\u201d Horatio eyes showed his surprise.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been watching over my family,\u201d Speed shrugged, and then continued his walk down the beach.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve missed you,\u201d Horatio called after the young man.<\/p>\n

Speed stopped and turned around, \u201cI heard you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Horatio looked back confused, \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhen you visited my grave,\u201d Speed informed him.<\/p>\n

Horatio looked down at his feet, twisting the sunglasses. As he looked back up he slipped on his sunglasses. Speed walked up to him, and pulled the glasses off, \u201cI wish you had mentioned something sooner.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI always thought I had time,\u201d Horatio looked at him, eyes shining.<\/p>\n

Speed gave him a gentle smile, \u201cAs did I.\u201d<\/p>\n

Horatio pulled Speed to him, his arms wrapping around the young man. \u201cNow what?\u201d Horatio stepped out of the comforting hug.<\/p>\n

\u201cWell that\u2019s up to you,\u201d Speed turned towards the ocean.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m dead right?\u201d Horatio looked at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here to give you an opportunity.\u201d Speed looked at him, then back at the water.<\/p>\n

\u201cOpportunity?\u201d Horatio stepped in front of Speed.<\/p>\n

Speed stepped back, \u201cSome are given an opportunity\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201dAn opportunity to do what?\u201d Horatio hands rested on his hips, glasses in place.<\/p>\n

Speed couldn\u2019t help but laugh, \u201cIf you would let me finish.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSorry,\u201d Horatio waved his hand to continue.<\/p>\n

\u201cAn opportunity to fix one regret,\u201d Speed explained.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t understand,\u201d Horatio stepped back. \u201cFix one regret?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIf there is something you regret from your life, you are given the opportunity to fix it.\u201d Speed informed him.<\/p>\n

\u201cDoes everyone get this?\u201d Horatio turned and walked a few steps away.<\/p>\n

\u201dNo,\u201d Speed replied following him with his eyes.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid you?\u201d Horatio turned and looked at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cYes,\u201d Speed answered, simply.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd?\u201d Horatio cocked his head studying Speed.<\/p>\n

\u201cI decided not take it,\u201d Speed answered, his voice soft. He turned away from Horatio and began walking down the beach.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d Horatio grabbed his arm.<\/p>\n

\u201cBecause everything that had happened in my life made me the man I was. I wasn\u2019t going to change that.\u201d Speed tried to explain.<\/p>\n

\u201cEven your death?\u201d Horatio gripped Speed\u2019s arm.<\/p>\n

\u201cI suffered the consequences of my actions. I didn\u2019t clean my gun, I got shot.\u201d Speed pulled out of his grip, stumbling back. \u201cDid I regret dying? Hell yeah, especially after your graveside confession. But, I made the mistake and I had to pay the consequences.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd if I choose not to?\u201d Horatio asked.<\/p>\n

\u201dYou crossover without a second thought or a look back.\u201d Speed answered.<\/p>\n

\u201cThen what?\u201d Horatio sighed, frustrated.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s up to you,\u201d Speed smiled. \u201cMy suggestion, make sure Calleigh or Eric never step into a jewelry store.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s not funny,\u201d Horatio glared at him.<\/p>\n

Speed shrugged, \u201cIt\u2019s up to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Horatio looked out to the waters, \u201cThere is one thing I would like to fix.\u201d<\/p>\n

Speed looked at him, \u201cI\u2019m not surprised. Just think on the moment and what you want to fix.\u201d Horatio closed his eyes letting Speed\u2019s voice flow through him. \u201cOnce you find it, pour all of your focus on that one moment in time. Are you there?\u201d Horatio nodded. \u201cGood. Now concentrate on what you want to change\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, open those blue eyes\u2026\u201d Horatio slowly opened his eyes. He blinked and grimaced at the bright light. The lights faded, \u201cHoratio is that better? I need you to concentrate, focus on my voice\u2026that\u2019s, it open your eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n

Horatio looked up into the smiling face of Timothy Speedle, \u201cSpeed?\u201d His voice cracked. He tried to swallow, but his mouth was to dry.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m here, H, take a sip of water. You\u2019ve been out for a few days. We were getting worried.\u201d Speed caressed the redhead\u2019s hair.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhere am I?\u201d Horatio looked around the room.<\/p>\n

\u201cHospital,\u201d Speed answered. \u201cGave us a scare, I really think we should avoid jewelry stores from now on.\u201d Speed gave a tight laugh.<\/p>\n

Horatio eyes focused on Speed. Images of him dying, the funeral, then his own shooting, seeing him on the beach. \u201cI died.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAlmost, they lost you on the table, but you held on.\u201d Speed\u2019s voice was full of emotion. \u201cGod, don\u2019t do that to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut,\u201d Horatio looked at Speed. \u201cYou died, over a year ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat drugs are they giving you?\u201d Speed looked at the IV hanging above his head.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Horatio began getting agitated.<\/p>\n

\u201cShush, now.\u201d Speed caressed his hair, soothing him. \u201cGet some sleep, we\u2019ll talk in the morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThe jewelry store, your gun jammed.\u201d Horatio looked at him eyes pleading.<\/p>\n

Speed focused on Horatio\u2019s face, \u201cI was wounded\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

Horatio tried to set up, \u201cNo, you were killed. You looked down at your gun, it jammed. I held you while you died.\u201d<\/p>\n

Speed pushed him back into the bed, \u201cMy gun didn\u2019t jam, and I saw the second gunmen. I got a shot off, but was wounded in the shoulder.\u201d<\/p>\n

Horatio eyes locked with his, \u201cIt was clean?\u201d<\/p>\n

Speed bowed his head then looked up, \u201cOnly because of you.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Horatio slumped into the bed.<\/p>\n

\u201cTwo weeks earlier you came to me, asked me if my gun was clean.\u201d Speed placed his hand along Horatio\u2019s cheek. \u201cYou knew by my look, that it wasn\u2019t. You started yelling at me for being careless, and threw Dispo Day up in my face.\u201d Speed smiled at him, \u201cI of course yelled back, saying no one would care if something happened to me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI kissed you,\u201d Horatio placed his hand over Speed\u2019s.<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah,\u201d Speed placed a soft kiss on his lips. \u201cWhen I woke up the next morning, you had the gun cleaning kit on the table.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGod, it was so real,\u201d Horatio looked into Speed\u2019s eyes; they were filled with love and devotion.<\/p>\n

\u201cGet some sleep,\u201d Speed kissed his forehead. \u201cI\u2019ll be here when you wake up.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHome?\u201d Horatio closed his eyes, the drugs taking affect.<\/p>\n

\u201cSoon,\u201d Speed whispered into his ear.<\/p>\n

A few weeks later Speed helped an exhausted Horatio into their house, onto the couch, and then went into the bedroom. Horatio looked around the modest home. He recognized the simple home Speed and he had purchased a month ago. It was like he had two sets of memories in his head one with Speed and one without. The memories of a life without Speed were fading; he still wasn\u2019t sure if they were memories or drugged illusions.<\/p>\n

Horatio groaned as he got up off the couch. The piano in the corner beckoned him. He remembered Speed playing for him, but at the same time felt stunned that Speed played. He sat on the bench, running his fingers along the worn keys. He glanced up at the pictures placed on top. Pictures of the team, some of Speed and him, Yelina and Ray Jr., Susie and Madison, the last frame had a hand written note in it. He picked it up studying carefully.<\/p>\n

\u2018Ask Speed about his gun.\u2019 <\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

Horatio looked at the note, it was in his handwriting but he didn\u2019t remember writing it. Images assaulted his mind, the shooting, the beach, Speed, regrets, one opportunity. He gasped clutching the frame to his chest.<\/p>\n

\u201cHoratio?\u201d Speed walked up to him, concerned.<\/p>\n

\u201cMy one regret,\u201d Horatio whispered, looking up at him, a smile on his face. He remembered, his regret was not for himself but for Speed, he never checked to see if Speed had been cleaning his gun. He had figured it would save Speed\u2019s life, never thought it would save his own.<\/p>\n

By checking on Speed, he had inadvertently saved his own life. Speed survived the jewelry store, and over that year and half the two entered into a relationship. When Horatio stepped into that second jewelry store, Speed was right next to him. He saw the man in the corner, and warned Horatio. The bullet missed his heart by an inch. It was Speed\u2019s warning that made Horatio to turn, causing the bullet to enter one inch to the left instead of the right.<\/p>\n

Horatio looked up into expressive brown eyes, the memories were beginning to fade. In time he knew the only life he would know would be the one he was living.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d Speed asked, taking the frame from his hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cNothing,\u201d Horatio smiled at him.<\/p>\n

Speed set the frame back onto the piano, \u201cYou once told me that the note just appeared on your desk one night. You read it, grabbed your keys and drove straight to my apartment.\u201d Speed sat down on the bench next to Horatio. \u201cAfter the shooting, you framed the note. You said it saved your life.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWithout you I would have no life,\u201d Horatio slipped his arm around Speed.<\/p>\n

Speed turned in his arms, looked deep into his eyes. \u201cI love you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Horatio pulled him into a deep kiss, the last memories of a life without Speed faded into nothingness. \u201cAnd I you.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Title: Regrets Author: Bj Jones Rating: PG-13 Summary: Fixing one\u2019s regrets. *** Horatio looked around the deserted beach, confusion etched on his face. He slipped off the sunglasses and looked down at his chest. He knew something wasn\u2019t right; the last thing he remembered was walking into the jewelry store. …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":7655,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"class_list":["post-9053","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/P2Da1M-2m1","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":8088,"url":"https:\/\/www.sylumclan.com\/sylumblog\/the-generals-office\/bj-jones\/csi-miami\/angel-wings\/","url_meta":{"origin":9053,"position":0},"title":"Angel Wings","author":"Nicolaus Meridius","date":"June 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Title: Angel Wings Author: Bj Jones Rating: FRAO Summary: The same wings that had protected him were embracing him ~*~ \"What do you mean the body disappeared?\" Horatio looked around the hallway as he pulled Alexx to the side. \"Where's Speed?\" \"I don't know.\" She whispered harshly. \"I was preparing\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9049,"url":"https:\/\/www.sylumclan.com\/sylumblog\/the-generals-office\/bj-jones\/csi-miami\/ten-minutes\/","url_meta":{"origin":9053,"position":1},"title":"Ten Minutes","author":"Nicolaus Meridius","date":"September 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Title: Ten Minutes Author: Bj Jones Rating: MA Summary: \u201cPlease, all I need is ten minutes.\u201d *** Horatio held Speed in his arms, trying to soothe the wounded man.\u00a0 He wiped the blood gently away from Speed\u2019s mouth, ordering him to keep breathing. \u201cI can\u2019t feel anything,\u201d Speed\u2019s voice was\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9055,"url":"https:\/\/www.sylumclan.com\/sylumblog\/the-generals-office\/bj-jones\/csi-miami\/one-moment\/","url_meta":{"origin":9053,"position":2},"title":"One Moment","author":"Nicolaus Meridius","date":"September 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Title: One Moment Author: Bj Jones Rating: R Summary: One moment changes Horatio's life Series: Companion Piece to One Call (found in the CSI: New York section - coming soon) *** \"SPEED!\" Horatio knelt down next to the fallen man. \"Come on Speed, hold on.\" Speed looked up with pain\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8086,"url":"https:\/\/www.sylumclan.com\/sylumblog\/the-generals-office\/bj-jones\/csi-miami\/a-difference\/","url_meta":{"origin":9053,"position":3},"title":"A Difference","author":"Nicolaus Meridius","date":"June 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Title: A Difference Author: Bj Jones Rating: FRAO Summary: He really did make a difference \u00a0 ~ After Life ~ Speed stared down at his friends, his family, and sighed. It shouldn't be this way. They were constantly arguing, sniping at each other. Calleigh was running from her problems. Eric\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":8302,"url":"https:\/\/www.sylumclan.com\/sylumblog\/the-generals-office\/bj-jones\/csi-miami\/summer-vacation\/","url_meta":{"origin":9053,"position":4},"title":"Summer Vacation","author":"Nicolaus Meridius","date":"July 9, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Title: Summer Vacation Author: Bj Jones Rating: FRAO Summary: Speed and Horatio surprise Eric with a vacation Series: Secret Admirer, Birthday Boy \u00a0 *** \"Summer vacation,\" Speed stated sipping his coffee. \"Excuse me?\" Horatio looked over at one of his lovers. \"I\u2019m thinking we need to take a summer vacation,\"\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":9038,"url":"https:\/\/www.sylumclan.com\/sylumblog\/the-generals-office\/bj-jones\/csi-miami\/visiting-hours\/","url_meta":{"origin":9053,"position":5},"title":"Visiting Hours","author":"Nicolaus Meridius","date":"September 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Title: Visiting Hours Author: Bj Jones Rating: PG-13 Summary: After a tough case Horatio stops by for a visit *** Horatio looked down at the headstone. 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